Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Changing Vs Losing Your Mind

neu·ro·sis/n(y)o͝oˈrōsis/Noun: 1.A relatively mild mental illness that is not caused by organic disease, involving symptoms of stress (depression, anxiety) but not a radical loss of touch with reality. Compare with psychosis
2.(in nontechnical use) Excessive and irrational anxiety or obsession.

When planning a wedding ALL of them surface. Example, I have an extreme distaste for odd years. Pretty weird. I am an open book and I've had lots of acting training so I'm usually pretty in touch with myself, but the wedding has forced me into situations I've never been in before.

As it turns out, I really don't like changing my mind. I enjoy being a decisive person. I like making a plan and sticking to it. It makes me dependable and responsible. I'm not immovable by any means, but when other people (vendors, family, wedding party) are involved I have serious guilt.

First it was the dress. I was so torn about abandoning the sample dress I found a thrift store 4 years ago that I shed tears over it. Not because I was so in love with the dress, but because I had let myself down. I failed to comply with the plan. Never mind that the dress was impractical for someone with mobility issues (and an outdoor venue) it was bought and paid for why couldn't I suck it up?

Why? Because there was something better out there waiting for me. My real dress. I survived, the budget survived and no one shook their finger at me and told me what a disappointment I am. I LOVE my dress. I love that it's being custom made to my size and specifications. I love the idea of wearing it again...

Then I found a picture of blue sea holly in a magazine. We'd been planning for a long time to get all the groomsman and dads matching lapel pins. It was a cute idea, but reality was the one we liked wasn't available anymore. Beyond that this thistle screamed Mike's Boutonniere to me. He loved it too. No big emotion issues there. I started to think my pain over the dress was a one time thing.

Now I've started doubting my bouquet choice. At first I loved my bouquet and that I was the only one with one. It made it more special. Than I started considering a brooch bouquet.
Something like this, but with fairies instead of flowers. It would be pretty. Imagine it with pieces like this: The last one is my absolute favorite. I may buy myself that pin whether I do the brooch bouquet or not. I could just pin it to the ribbon around the stem of my flower bouquet. Making a brooch bouquet could be a fun last DIY project before the wedding. I could ask everyone attending my bridal shower to bring a fairy pin. I did something similar for a Christmas party one year and it turned out amazing. My tree was so interesting and I have sentimental attachment to all of those ornaments because of who they came from.

I'm just not sure. It bothers me that it was already decided. I also feel like brooch bouquets are so trendy now, thanks Miranda Lambert. It would be heavy so there would be no tossing it. Not that we couldn't get around that. Hmmm...

On the plus side I could take it apart afterward and keep all the fun jewelry. It would save a little on flowers (that Mike would eat up with his decor design without blinking). Do I really want one? I'm not sure...I hate being not sure.

I investigated compromise:

Here's what splitting the difference looks like. Yeah. Huh. To each her own, but I despise it. I really don't like it at all. So that's out. I'll either have all flowers or all pins. Help me out guys what do you think?


  1. If you do decide to go with the broach bouquet, you can always also have a flower one to throw. I've also seen button bouquets (I think on etsy) that were quite cute and pretty.

    PS it's ok to change your mind. Especially if you see something that you like better, wedding planning is all about flexibility.

    You can do it!

  2. I like the brooch bouquet, its different and fun. Plus you get some great brooches to keep after the wedding. Donna

  3. ‎^Good point. I loved my flowers, but they die eventually and you end up throwing them away. I felt guilty about it, but I was not going to preserve the bouquet. Alyssa

  4. we didn't have any bouquet. we were in a garden already, and, melissa was escorted by both of her parents - jewish style - and didn't have any hands for one. ;-) also, we had to sign the ketubah (jewish marriage license/contract), and then... she'd have to hand it to her sister, who was already holding the chuppah (jewish canopy). it was also an extra expense, so we had no flowers... you get the idea.

    for me, the brooch is a good idea (albeit seems a little trendy now maybe?), but some look pretty busy. but you could probably make it look more flower-like. but, you can't throw it if you wanted to, but, they don't die. ... good luck!!

  5. I have no idea what happened to my bouquet after the wedding... I had lots of purple flowers, pretty orchids and everything, but no clue where it ended up. And we did not do a "throw the bouquet" at the wedding. Emily


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