It's looking like I will be have pre-wedding hip surgery. Sigh. I had a post waiting about picking invitations and one in the works about our other cake tasting, but today I don't feel like pretending anyone but me cares about planning my wedding.
Today I'm more plain old girl than bride-to-be. I am hallowed out by all the reality today. Just like the kidney infection reminding me that the reality of illness and immunity could even effect me GASP! on my wedding day. Today, was another dose of "You're still you even in a white dress surrounded by all your friends and family." The bride title doesn't make you bullet proof. If anything it paints a target on you sometimes.
I'm sure I can push ahead and survive one more procedure and recovery. I'm sure that I can not survive in the state I'm in. I'm sure I'll be grateful in the long run that my wedding and (cross your fingers) honeymoon won't be hindered by severe hip pain. I'm just sad to have to be a survivor again. To put Mike and the kids through it again. The uncertainty and the time line being so short, it's hard. Pray, for the right answers in a timely manner.
Anything can and often does happen. Your wedding being on the horizon is not a pause button on the relentless onslaught on challenges in life. It's one more set of things to do in your "spare time." I wish I knew I was dealing with the best case scenario. That dress deserves a sturdy gait maybe even a little spring in the step.
One step at a time, one foot in front of the other. Geez, pre-wedding hip surgery just wasn't on the knot's time line, folks. So, order invitations, have surgery and then final dress fitting or something like that.