Sunday, September 25, 2011

Not Before The Wedding

The most famous of all wedding superstitions the one everyone has heard is that the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding. As the above article (click the link or zoom in for easier reading) suggests like many other wedding superstitions no one is quite sure where this came from. It seems reasonable that it arose from the time of arranged marriages when it was less likely the groom would panic and call it of if his bride wasn't "unveiled" until the ceremony.

I think what modern brides cling to is not a fear of doomed marriage if the bride is seen before the wedding, but the desire for a dramatic reveal. A hollywood-esque moment where the groom sees you in slow motion and all the guests melt into a blur because you're the only two people in the universe who matter. I completely empathize with that desire, more than you know. It's a beautiful idea and a looooooong standing wedding tradition.

I, however, walk funny. I do not want to walk towards Mike slowly while everyone watches me. Blah. Not to be a politician about it, but while I love a tradition I think my definition of "before" is different than most peoples'. I think before we're dressed up equals before the wedding for me. I think everything beyond that is the wedding. While the ceremony will be a beautiful and very important the whole evening/night belongs to us. I want a dramatic reveal, but it will only be for Michael. Most couple have a lot of time alone together before they get married so having an audience is very special. We have had audience since we met and a moment that's just the two of us is an amazing and incredibly rare thing.

I want a quiet minute with him and some pictures before all the craziness of the day sweeps us away. I don't have any problem with him seeing my dress before hand I just don't want him to see me in the dress until the wedding day. Honestly, I could model it for him every month before the wedding and he still wouldn't remember what it looked like the day of until he saw me in it.

I wish every bride her moment of dramatic, romantic reveal however that's achieved.


  1. We did this... We had a special song playing and it was just us and the photographer. Those pictures are some of my favorite.

  2. I don't understand... So you'll see Mike, the day of the wedding, before the ceremony? Or you'll only reveal yourself to him in your dress before walking down the aisle? Nedi

  3. We'll spend the night apart and then see each other for the first time that day for pictures before the ceremony.

  4. I agree, it's all about the dramatic reveal and I guess every bride is different, but a quiet moment sounds like a really good time -Kevin

  5. I worked for a wedding photographer for a while, and lots of couples do a private reveal before the ceremony. They're usually really sweet (in pictures anyway) there's pictures of the guy with his back turned, and then he turns around, and the photographer catches his face lighting up as he see's his beautiful amazing wonderful bride, the fantastic woman that he is about to commit his life to, and she see's him, and it's a "dramatic reveal" just for the two of you. I hope yours is just as magical, but I know it will be.


I thrive on your feedback. Leave your two cents.