I have to start by saying that Mike is an artist and equipped with the required temperament. He becomes extremely passionate and perfectionistic about things he really cares about. He was very excited to discuss wedding plans from the beginning. Listening aptly to my ideas and then expanding on them. Sometimes so much so that I had to reign him back in. It was good though, because we felt it was our day. The day to celebrate us as a couple so we'd plan it together.
So flashback to nontraditional little me letting the groom accompany me dress shopping on the first time out, who knew that would spell trouble? That magic day I found the dress I sneakily borrowed cash (it was under $100) from someone, purchased it and sent it home with someone else. I was super ninja.
It was one thing to get a little feedback right off the bat, but now I had the dress, my dress. It was going to be top secret from now on. I was over the moon having found a dress when I least expected it for so little money. I thought I would go home and report my resourcefulness and my groom who be would be thrilled that the budget was intact and the to-do list slightly shorter.
Wrong. He listened, shocked, to my news and then his face twisted into an expression of anger. He felt left out! I was stunned. I was at a complete loss. As outside the box as my thinking is I still very much believed the dress is the bride's project.
Soon he was yelling and I was crying (when I wasn't yelling back). This was supposed to be a happy day because in any other house it would be good news. It turned into something like this:
Are you saying you don't trust me to pick out my dress?
No..I..just you can be...influenced
Influenced into WHAT?!?
I don't want you to have a bunch of stuff you don't want.
I won't. I can't believe you have so little faith in me.
I thought we were doing things together.
We are, but this is the one thing that's mine.
But you're talking to my mom and my sister about it, but not me.
Because you are the GROOM and they're going to help with alterations.
(He huffs and puffs some more)
Honey, you're in charge of the engagement ring and proposal and I get final say on the dress.
This is bulls**t.
In the end he cooled down and I agreed to show him the dress per-alterations if he backed off the dress issue. By the time I showed him the disputed garment he was unconcerned and unimpressed. So, the dress is my project in the end.
Yesterday, I took possession of my dress again (my dad had been holding it for safe keeping since I bought it). It was a good to see it again after all this time. I asked Mike if he had anything to say on the subject of my dress before I started the alteration project, with his mom and sister (for real this time). He laughed, but when I remember that long ago fight I still tear up a little.