Friday, May 27, 2011

The Burst Bubble

After many, many years watching A Wedding Story on TLC and later a myriad of other wedding shows I had some rather, grandiose ideas for my wedding. On those shows they refer to any wedding budget under $30,000 as small. That is why my original wedding budget of $25,000 sounded perfectly reasonable on paper

My original budget was generous; I put hundreds of dollars into categories when I wasn't sure. The scale of things I originally pictured was huge. Over a hundred people in attendance, lavish decor, multiple photographers, custom dress and gourmet food.

The wedding shows never show the bride and groom toiling away the first years of their marriage to pay off the party. Maybe those couples have parents footing the bill or horrible credit. When I blew the dust off my wedding notebook I found not one, but three budgets front and center. The first of these was a worksheet from the knot.com I made in late April 2008. I remember finding their "advice" on the sheet interesting, but that it was difficult to customize it efficiently. The second one was a plain old excel spreadsheet I did a month later, but it's covered in handwritten notes of things forgotten prior to printing. The last budget made on Martha Stewart's wedding site (which was by far my favorite wedding budgeting tool) in September 2008. It has estimated costs at $24,222 (and that's after the bargain dress). After a few years of a not-so-great economy, being out of work recovering from surgery and having a baby that number seems pretty laughable. I guess it's time to start a post official engagement, feet on the ground budget.

The things I thought I couldn't do without turn out to be largely dispensable. Why go for the $4,000 dollar venue at the expense of everything else when the venue under $1,000 is beautiful and less restricting. Why not cut the guest list down to the nearest and dearest? Intimate ceremonies are more romantic, anyway. A professional photographer and videographer would be amazing, but we have relatives who are pretty good with a camcorder. And so it goes...

I'm happy with a smaller guest list and eyes on the "plan B" venue. I know what's important to me now. I can skip costly engraved invitations (most of them will end up in the trash anyway), a bachelorette party (I'm not a drinker), multiple pairs of shoes (one comfortable pair will do), a veil (I’d rather wear flowers in my hair, anyway) and at least one DIY project worth of supplies. It will be the kind of day I want just scaled back to something within reason. It will be meaningful, unforgettable and so “us”.

15 comments:

  1. We did a diy for under 10,000 (don't remember the exact amount) and it was amazing. If you have friends who can help, it makes it so much easier. We printed our own invitations, and we got to design them ourselves (very uncostly) and the reply cards were post cards (cheaper stamps) We didn't do the "save the date" stuff, My aunt married us, Kev's friend was the band and MC. If you ever want to talk wedding, give me a buzz and I'll tell you the things I loved and what, looking back, I wish we'd spent more time on. You CAN have an amazing wedding on a tight budget.
    Emily

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  2. Those budget amounts are just crazy... no reason to put yourself in debt to start a marriage... I might not have paid for our wedding, but I know our wedding was nowhere near 6 digits... It's called fake flowers, publix cake, dollar store favors, etc.
    Nedi

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  3. Nedi: I agree, nuts. I'm not going to spend anything close to that in reality. I was just pointing out the damage done by wedding shows. Was your cermony venue, free?

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  4. Let's talk soon. I did my entire wedding for 5,000 and had everything I wanted. I'll give you some tips-Kati

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  5. Oh, yes let's talk, Kati. I loved your wedding photos! Goregous. Also, I want to talk about getting around all day in a wedding dress...down the aisle, etc. Hugs!

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  6. Anyway, ask Nedi about Budget Weddings...Uncle Charlie and I spent $5,000 on her wedding and that included a Honeymoon Cruise to the Bahamas! Hint: Free Parks are great venues..silk flowers online waaay cheaper than fresh flowers..her veil was handmade in the Ukraine for $35 (found on ebay!)-Aunt Aimee

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  7. Aunt Aimee, did you guys hire a professional photogrpher?

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  8. You've heard of living within your means... well, goes the same way, Marry within in your means ;) ♥ Nedi

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  9. those shows always get to me too... we spent under $5000 for the whole thing - ceremony, reception for 100 guests with open bar, cake, dress/veil, invites (printed at walmart!) etc... and then we used the money we got as gifts at the wedding to pay for our honeymoon. it can be done, and it will be gorgeous! don't go into crazy debt just for a one day thing.-Jessica

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  10. A friend of mine was married in the 90s on a budget of $14,000 -- and remarried more than a decade later for the same amount! :-) Her second wedding was potluck (in lieu of gifts) so all they paid for was the bar tab, the venue rental, we...dding dress alterations (she altered her mom's wedding (prom?) dress and had a corset made), invitations and the live entertainment (they were pretty "tapped into" the local indie music scene and so the music was amazing and very affordable -- the musicians were happy to have a paying gig!). It wasn't the fanciest wedding I've attended, but it was one of the most joyous and the most memorable. :-)-Chi

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  11. Chi-That's exactly what I'm after. Something unforgettable. Reading your comment made me teary! I know it can be done but it's so nice to have the reassurence of some success stories.

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  12. Katie - I really and truly believe that couples willing to DIY can have a gorgeous wedding on a shoestring. We spent around 4k on our wedding and LOVED it, and I don't think there was anything "cheap" or chintzy about it. We ordered wholesale flowers for bouquets/boutonnieres/arrangements and had a family friend do pictures. We had a candlelit poolside reception at my parents' house (44 guests) and rented the tables, chairs, and linens. We had a favorite local Italian place do the catering. It was totally "us," and so much fun! Starting a marriage in debt is never a good idea, and I think you have the right idea to cut loose of the wedding industry's insane and unrealistic standards (I lol'd at 30k being considered a "small" budget!) and do what works for you. p.s. - I love the new blog. I always enjoy your writing! :)
    Stephanie

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  13. Oh, Steph thank you! It's good to have fans! Tell your friends and post links. Things are happening for as a writer and it's nice to know people enjoy "my work".
    Your wedding sounds amazing!

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  14. Ceremony was free venue-Seminole Park..bridesmaid dresses online..yes we used a prof photographer-Nedi might have his name-Aimee

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