Wedding Vs Real World

It occurred to me when my dad exclaimed "what's a save the date?". I have taken up residence in a whole other country with a language of it's own. I can't think of any other event that has a pre-invitation. While I'm on the subject when was the last time white was the standard dress color for a party? I don't know any other time you have to have a final guest list for anything 6-9mo in advance.

Beyond practices you only undertake during wedding planning there's all those acronyms. Let's see...

• MOB-Mother of the Bride
• FOB-Father of the Bride
• MOG-Mother of the Groom
• FOG-Father of the Groom
• WP or BP-Wedding/Bridal Party
• WC or DOC-Wedding/Day of Coordinator
• BM or GM-Bridesmaid/Groomsman
• FMIL or FFIL-Future Mother/Future Father in Law, etc

I think you get the idea. Wedding planning has it's own languages and clubs. It also has rules. LOTS of rules. Way too many rules.

They call it "wedding etiquette" (pardon my gag reflex). There are websites and books a plenty outlining it in great detail. It's overwhelming. I also find it's tangled up with tradition and superstition in a lot of cases. Etiquette dictates who pays, when you can use your monogram, how to inform people of your registry, when to send thank you notes and a whole universe of other things. As if planning a party for 100+ guests wasn't stressful enough without boat loads of rules for me to fret over.

Don't get me wrong I'm quite cozy outside the box, but I am always over analyzing. Always wondering if there's a solid reason behind some piece of etiquette that I'm missing. Like the card box anxiety. Most things I've chosen to ignore are obviously unfounded superstition or outdated practices, but somethings are so interesting or complicated I'm not sure.

Sometimes you get enmeshed in the wedding planning world and you forgot not everyone is in it with you. Of course my dad in his 60's hasn't a clue what a save the date is. Of course your friends giggle when you scroll STD instead of save the date on your calendar. Of course your aunt thinking green at weddings is unlucky worries you for a moment before it becomes humorous. Of course no one outside your wedding party cares about your wedding events calendar.

I take a break and re-enter the real world often curtsey of my kids and Mike's absent mindedness. Day to day seems alternately less interesting and far more pressing in comparison to all the planning. Especially, with my hip surgery looming. Ugh, Is this post even interesting? I'm doubtful.

Not Before The Wedding

Snopes.com

The most famous of all wedding superstitions the one everyone has heard is that the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding. As the above article (click the link or zoom in for easier reading) suggests like many other wedding superstitions no one is quite sure where this came from. It seems reasonable that it arose from the time of arranged marriages when it was less likely the groom would panic and call it of if his bride wasn't "unveiled" until the ceremony.

I think what modern brides cling to is not a fear of doomed marriage if the bride is seen before the wedding, but the desire for a dramatic reveal. A hollywood-esque moment where the groom sees you in slow motion and all the guests melt into a blur because you're the only two people in the universe who matter. I completely empathize with that desire, more than you know. It's a beautiful idea and a looooooong standing wedding tradition.

I, however, walk funny. I do not want to walk towards Mike slowly while everyone watches me. Blah. Not to be a politician about it, but while I love a tradition I think my definition of "before" is different than most peoples'. I think before we're dressed up equals before the wedding for me. I think everything beyond that is the wedding. While the ceremony will be a beautiful and very important the whole evening/night belongs to us. I want a dramatic reveal, but it will only be for Michael. Most couple have a lot of time alone together before they get married so having an audience is very special. We have had audience since we met and a moment that's just the two of us is an amazing and incredibly rare thing.

I want a quiet minute with him and some pictures before all the craziness of the day sweeps us away. I don't have any problem with him seeing my dress before hand I just don't want him to see me in the dress until the wedding day. Honestly, I could model it for him every month before the wedding and he still wouldn't remember what it looked like the day of until he saw me in it.

I wish every bride her moment of dramatic, romantic reveal however that's achieved.