Good News & Bad News

Today I learned my real bra size. Child bearing, nursing and major orthopedic operations have not done me any favors in the long run. Damn it. I am not a person who gains and loses significant amounts of weight generally. I have worn the same size clothes since middle school. Apparently, after going way up on the size chart for awhile I am smaller than I've ever been in my life.

Since I'm not planning on cosmetic surgery I tried to convince my emotional parts that it's rational after all the trauma my body's been through. I have no way of knowing if I'll bulk up to recognize myself in wedding photos or not. In light of all this, I decided I needed a pretty new bra. I ran the sales girl a little ragged, but I found a mutli way bra from the PINK line. It's just like the one in the picture except nude with nude lace. Same pink flowers. So cute, on sale and totally wearable post wedding. So, Yay! cute bra. Boo! smaller boobs.

Of course I came home and tried it on with the dress. It looked good except for being a tiny bit too high in the back. I figure somebody can pin it for me and I'll be wearing my hair down anyway. I took the opportunity while I had the dress on to practice walking with crutches in the dress. It went well. I had Mike take pictures of me so I could see what it looked like with the wedding dress, bra, crutches combination. At first the pictures made me happy, but the longer I looked the more frustrated I got.

It's my thin frame, it's weird not to recognize yourself. I want my pre-surgery body back. The uncertainty is hard. I'm doing my best to eat right and stay active, but who knows. Lara and I stopped in a shoe store where she helped me try on shoes. I got really emotional about it because it's the uncertainty again. I have no idea how long I'll be able to stand or if I can tolerate the shoes I wore before...not a clue. I'm hoping for my pre-surgery mobility. It's possible. I though about for a long time after I got home and I decided if I have to wear my dirty old sneakers under my dress in order to be on my feet and dance most of the night I will.

Underneath it All

Strapless gown options are pretty limited. Tape ons, sewn in cups, bustier or strapless bra. I want as little on underneath possible so there's no bumps or seams (also so I don't over heat on the dance floor). I have super sensitive skin so tape's out. Plus I'm sure the weight of the dress pulls on it. I did read about a bride using Velcro to attach her bra to the top of her dress. I hope that's not necessary.

I don't want anything added to my dress. It's perfect and I don't want it out of my sight. I had cups sewn in to a prom dress and it still shifted around a lot. Plus, I'm guessing it would be as much as a good strapless bra and I couldn't wear it with anything else. So, really that leaves a bustier or a strapless bra.

My bridesmaid and future sister in law and I are going to check out my options in the morning. I was looking online and I think if I were doing a bustier it would be something like this. It's the right color, the straps come off and it's smooth for the most part. I just don't know how much use I'd get out of it after the wedding.

Also not to be a brat or anything, but I don't want anything holding my stomach in. For one thing my dress was made to my exact measurements and I don't want it to look loose. On top of that I want to eat a nice meal at the reception without feeling like a I'm going to explode seams.

I think my first choice is probably something like this.

Obviously, not a black one. I'd get it in nude. It converts so it can be worn four different ways. It'd be very versatile and I'd definitely use it after the wedding. I wonder if I wore it the way the girl has it in the picture if it would keep it from moving around too much. Also, I'm not going to lie it's got gel padding. Sounds like something I'd like to see for myself. If ever there was a day for a wonder bra, this will be it. Even if I don't buy anything I'm curious to be measured. I haven't been since Riley was born and I went all the way up to a D cup at one point. I've only been assuming I'm the same size I was pre-pregnancy.

It'll be an interesting fact finding mission either way. I think I'll bring a picture of my dress to see what their advice is and if I don't find anything I like on sale at least I can attack my underwear drawer with the certainty of what I'm looking for.