Non-Sucky Ties

Apparently, shopping for ties is a bit like shopping for a wedding dress in so much as most of them are entirely unappealing. Aside from the uglyness factor I needed 6 matching ties on a budget. Not an easy feat. We settled on cream colored dress shirts and brown pants for the boys. They'll wear whatever shoes they please and no jackets. To unify them we wanted a really cool tie.

I was set on something with a pattern from the beginning. I was leaning towards a paisley print at first, but really the goal was something fun and "Mike", but in appropriate colors. During my research (and after many fruitless & exhausting trips to stores) I stumbled on an Etsy store that did screen printing on ties. I was aquiver at the possibility, but Mike was dismissive and I soon forgot all about it.

Until I logged into Etsy looking for something else and a tie that happened to be on the featured items of the homepage caught my eye in a big way. Mike was instantly receptive and color discussions began. The tie is by Cyberopotix Tie Lab. The design is called Apollo Cockpit

I contacted the seller right away. Bethany was quick to respond and very informative. Since we need 5 silk ties and one bow tie (which only comes in microfiber) in a possible color combo of fabric and ink we couldn't find a picture of it in the gallery we ordered swatches. It was about $8 for two swatch cards one with silks and one with microfiber and they applied inks directly to the fabric at our request as well. Because they cut up actual ties (awesomeness) it took a few days to get those. It was a good call because we could see the color against his shirt and in sun and natural light too.

We ordered 5 silk neckties in emerald with antique brass ink and 1 bow tie, for Isaac. We even received a wedding discount on our order. They were ordered on Friday afternoon. I received an email Friday night telling me they'd ship in the morning. They arrived today! They are beautiful.

Mike and I agree the colors are great! There's something so elegant about a silk tie.

We Have A Plan, Man.

I'm defiantly fond of no jackets and we'd like to avoid renting if possible. I'm thinking we'll tie the boys together with their tie, ha! I should have said coordinate. At any rate we're thinking brown dress pants and off white to cream shirts. They'll all wear some kind of patterned neckties. I'm considering a bow tie for Isaac though. Mike with also have a vest so you know who the groom is. I think Mike may wear his brown fedora too. We'll see.

Inspiration

Menswear

My original vision was something like this:

Something dark grey or black with a pinstripe suggestive of the Great Gatsby. Mike vetoed the period and the pinstripe and the color. It was an overall no.

He wants to stay with earth tones. I like these:

Ok, so this is still old fashion, but it's heading in the right direction.

If Mike wants brown, I love this vest. In fact I like the vest no jacket look a lot. This grooms got a similar boutonniere to ours too. We'd probably want a more interesting tie. The only thing I dislike is the hat. It'd be cute on a ring bearer though.

If we were going to do hats I'd vote for these:

I love a fedora! How great would groomsmen in fedoras look next to my 1950's inspired bridesmaids dresses? I think matching hats may be a bit much to ask. I really love the brown vest though.

Head Counts and Job Assignmets

The guest list is easily the most complicated task related to wedding planning. You can't decide where to have your wedding until you know how many people it needs to hold. You can't price out save the dates or invitations until you know how many households you're sending them to. It's also a lot easier to pick a date when you know how many out of town guests you're expecting. Along the same lines you can't get an estimate on catering or any type of rentals until you have a head count.

It all sounds very rational, but it's an emotionally charged process. We started with an ideal number in our heads. It meant little and was based on nothing. We made a list of all the friends and family we'd want if we could have everyone. That list came to 175 people. Many more than we had hoped. When I crunched the numbers again it went down to 150, but that was still too many. Finally, I got cut throat about it. If we've haven't seen or spoken to someone in the time we've been engaged they're out. If it's a family friend, but not a personal friend of ours out, etc. You can really loose your head doig this.

First, I was pained and emotional about every name I crossed out and then I was cut throat and callous. I remember wondering if it was ok to invite my friend, but not her children. I must have been foaming at the mouth at that point. Clearly, the numbers had gone to my head I no longer saw the names on the list as people. Once I collected my head, I pared the list down to 85 guests (10ish children) not including our nuclear family. That's 38 households that will need invites and save the dates. Sounds doable.

As I mopped the sweat from my brow I had but a moment to wallow in my accomplishment (and doubt myself) because the next step was assigning the wedding party. I'm going need a lot of help and support in the coming months so it was time to think bridesmaids. By the way, before I visited any wedding sites or looked at any wedding magazines I thought it was bride's mate. The mate of the bride. Doesn't that sound nicer?

I know I have very supportive friends and family that will help me any way they can, but it was time to bestow the honors. Mike's side of the aisle was a piece of cake. He only has three friends it's a good thing he has a son because I wanted four attendants. The kid's jobs were a breeze too. Boo and Roo were born flower girls (or at least will be adorable in there dresses and fairy wings.) and there was only one "man" for the ring bearer position, Mr. Jack. Aren't I lucky to have so many two year olds in my life?

The bridesmaids were trickier. I knew both of my sisters biological and in law we're in. That left two spots to fill. I've only been a bridesmaid one and a half times and I know how much the job means to the right person. I pondered group dynamic, strengths and weakness, length of friendship and how often I see them. I spun my wheels all afternoon about it. My heart ached at having to choose. I LOVE my friends. I tried enlisting Mike's help, but he said "That's girl stuff and social stuff. I don't have any opinion about that." He only has to count on his men for a bachelor party before the day of my ladies have a lot of responsibilites. Ugh.

I pondered and pontificated for awhile and then I made some very honest phone calls. In the end I have four attendants and an unofficial bridesmaid who will participate as fully as she can and be a guest on the day of. Everyone's happy (or at least they say they are). I know I made the right choice. The choice my head and heart can live with. Now let's plan a wedding!