Some Assembly Required

We completed the design for the save-the-dates and once again I fooled myself into thinking, "the hard part is over." He was happy. I was happy. The creative stuff was done and it was time to get serious and mathy. I did as my DIY bride books advised and made a detailed list of materials and started searching for deals.

I'm not the best math-er for sure. First, I wanted to find the best place to order the prints that will become the background and magnetic quotes for the save the dates. I checked all the photo sites for deals for large groups of photos and then realized I didn't need 200+ prints (guest list X 2). I needed one per household, duh. Much like carpenter's tell you "measure twice, cut once" I advise DIY brides to count at least 3 times and have someone check your math before you buy. Especially if you've been rearranging the guest list and your brain is number soup.

The next big lesson for me was always do a test. In the case of this project we order a print of each to see how they'd come out. It's never a bad move. If everything's great your a few mouse clicks and an hour from your lovely prints. On the other hand the time, money and stress saved if they're not right is immeasurable. It's hard to err on the side of caution when you're excited, but it must be done.

The next items on the to-do list were to price out magnetic sheets, 4x6 envelopes and postage. It turns out it's not so easy to find to find 4x6 envelopes. They are kind of like a reasonably priced meal at the airport, rare. After reading three different blogs posts about how crafters went to office supply stores and came home empty handed I checked Amazon. God bless 'em, 50 envelopes for $5.95, sold. Does it seem stupid to anyone else that 4x6 is the standard size for so many things and you can't find corresponding envelopes?

Postage was much trickier because I was told (and read somewhere) that there's special rules for mailing magnets. After much stressful searching it turned out magnets are "unregulated" unless they're strong enough to move the needle on a compass from several feet away. Phew, kind of, I'm still nervous. We'll mail one as a test before we drop the other 49 into the mailbox. More caution, aren't you proud? You would be if you need how much I'm dying to dive in to this project (and of course show it off).

Magnetic sheets are not as easy to find as one might think. It did not help matters that I started by searching for the wrong size, number soup! Mike and I had our typical discussion where I assumed we'd do a simple construction and he through out flashier more time consuming ideas. I then totaled up doing all the assembly ourselves start to finish. After that I totaled up if Vista Print did the magnets and we did the rest (cutting apart the poetry words, putting the two pieces together and mailing), it was a whole $6 cheaper to do it ourselves. Dream honeymoon here we come! Of course we've established my mathematics abilities so it my be even less of a savings...

Is it still worth it? Run your fingers back up the DIY chart to the part about "why are you doing this?" Unlike, a lot of my other projects this is truly the first impression of my day and saving money is great, but even if we break even I'll be something unique we made together. I hope people enjoy it and when they put a finger painting on the fridge after the wedding think "what a day."

The test prints were beautiful, but there was a snag. I loved our tree bark with climbing vine frame in high resolution, blown up to 200% on the computer, but in 4x6 well ick. So, we'll tweak them before we proceed. At least we have a solid idea what we need, where to get it and how much it will cost. I did win a small victory in convincing Mike that letting Vista Print do the magnets was the way to go, yay! Slightly less work on my plate and I'll have my craft cutter! We decided to go with a Silhouette after reading a lot more reviews, polling brides on the DIY boards and comparing features (research, research, research). It should be here end of next week!

So, to re-cap, the design needs tweaking, we're not doing the whole construction process ourselves and you can in fact mail magnets without crashing planes!

Guest List Attacks Back

First, why does no bridal planner have a guest list worksheet? I have hand written the stupid guest list over and over. I've used half a legal pad making lists of households, kids and out-of-towners. I am using the online guest list tool at Martha Stewart Weddings. It works great, but I can't filter all the ways I'd like to. I can't highlight, color code, etc. It has been wonderful for keeping all the info together especially addresses. I just wish I also had some kind of worksheet/chart. Maybe I'll break down and make one. Not that it'll save me.

We wanted to be around 75guests, but I was only able to get us to 86guests. Mike looked a little green at the thought, but it seemed doable. We went around and around about who we had to have versus wanted to have there. We talked about the people we were inviting who may not make it. We discussed how adding this friend means another family of four on the list. We looked at inviting some of Mikes co-workers, but not the whole office.

After I had a list I was happy with I counted households and kids again. There were double the number of kids I had estimated (20 including ours). I showed all this to Mike who had some revisions of his own. Now we're at 102 guests! So, do I cut my C-list and get us back down? Does it even matter when we're passed 90?

I made my ideal list just my closest friends and family I really want there list with no regard for etiquette or feelings just to see what the number would be. Three guesses...75guests. It didn't make me feel better, it made me mad. It's all so political, isn't it? RAR, RAR.

Also, like the budget stuff, inviting 102 (plus bride, groom, kiddos, photographer, and planner) does not mean we will be feeding 102. It means that's how many we invited. When RSVP's are counted we may be back in our comfort zone again. Of course if we'd stayed at 86 we could ended up at our ideal number.

This Bride Does Her Research

After the cake episode, I ask around before I talk to any potential vendor. Not just are they good or not, but can I get what I want? How much did it cost? Were there lots of fees? Almost as important as all of those things (to me at least) how long was the turn around between voice mails/emails and a reply? I've already been emailing some photographers and I eliminated some out of the gate because of budget and another group for bad communication. I have a lot of different ideas so I'm wary of vendors without a sense of humor who are used to working "in the box."

I have been posting on a board for west cost Florida weddings. It has been extremely helpful for finding out which local vendors are good (and budget friendly). I recently read a bride's review of the vendors she used and found a hair and makeup service that comes to you (no travel fee). I may not use them, but now I know such a deal exists.

I've done pretty well by cutting wedding dress and alterations out of the budget concerns by getting them at thrift stores and having family alter them. We're not having a DJ (on average those run you $700) because we're running a play list from the laptop to speakers ourselves. We may have to rent lighting since that's part of the DJ's service normally. Which is ok because our venue provides tables and chairs (for ceremony and reception). The caterer will bring the place settings (we're saving money by doing nice disposable ones). Instead of renting linens for the tables we're buying fabric from Joann's with our 50% coupons. You get the picture.

Recently, I scoured the internet for reviews of local photographers. I find starting from scratch is daunting when searching reviews. It's better to check websites, look at galleries and when you have a few you like go read their reviews. Weddingwire.com has a ton of reviews so I usually start there and then Google the company. I started double checking vendors I've already "decided on" too. Looking for anything I should bring up before I sign a contract.

Just be careful because as much as it can give you peace of mind it can also cause you anxiety, reading about things that went wrong on other brides' big days. It's like watching shows about NICU babies while your pregnant. I have identified among a sea of glowing reviews the issues I should address upfront with our venue and which employee in their events department is "moody". I'll buddy up with her first. I also worry that because they are like a well old wedding machine that my strange requests will be frowned upon. I'm going to spell out all our strangeness right up front to avoid issues (I hope).

Luckily, we live in an age of technology and even if do your research passively there is a ton of information out there. Email anyone who doesn't have price information listed. Don't assume you can't afford someone you want because their prices aren't public. I tend to be very up front about my budget in this case. I'm not afriad to do a little internet stalking to track down a vendor. I message frinds, friends or friends and beyond if I see something I like in some else's wedding photos. When I do contact the vendor I try to ask the important questions first.

Generally it would go something like this:
Hello _________,
I am looking for a __________ for a small spring wedding. Have you worked at (my venue) before? How much do you charge? Does that include _____ & ______? How much would the deposit be? My theme is _______ and here's a link to my inspiration board ______________.
Thanks
The Bride

Most vendors return emails within 48hrs in my experience so far. Remember not getting an immediate response means they're out working, it's a good thing. They usually want 50%(ish) deposit to book and the remainder within 30days of the wedding. Check into your highest priority things as soon as possible to avoid going with your second or third choice because your first choice is booked. Easy to say, but you have the deposit when you have it. For me the venue will be first, caterer next, photographer and then florist. We'll be pretty set as far as the ceremony and reception. It'll just leave attire, paper stuff (save the dates, invites, programs) and rings.

Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions! You truly never know until you ask. Don't be afraid to be a Bridezilla, ask for what you want (it can almost always be done with respect and kindness). Don't settle, it's your wedding.

DIY Bride

I adore crafts and doing projects for myself rather than the kids. I am lucky to have an in house artist to collaberate with. I love DIY so much I bought two used copies of DIY Bride books online. I love crafts so much I'm getting a very nice cutter to facilitate all my wedding needs and beyond. I need some things to be mine from start to finish (and some for $$ reasons), but there are limits. I have said no to hand making folding program fans, a cake server, wedding party shirts (although I am designing them) and a few others. My list is still rather daunting though. I found this chart today, which really summed it up:

Attacking the Guest List

With the design for the save the dates finished it was time to revisit the guest list. I needed to add impending babies and spouses and substract duplicates or C-listers. I needed to prune it into a neat orgainzed, workable, list. I needed to get addresses so once these silly save the dates are done they can hit the mail.

I got excited watching the number go down as I deleted the cousin I added twice by mistake and some people who didn't make the cut, but it went right back up again. I had a ceremony guest list and a reception list originally so I could leave the whole list intact and make all made edits on the other one until it was done. Even though I had "add guests to reception" checked, suddenly the lists were off by four people. I had to scroll through one page at a time looking for differences. After they both reflected the same number (well above our orginal hopes, but still on the small wedding side of things). I then proceeded just for fun to add all the in town female guests to the bridal shower list and discovered one of my bridal party was missing. Worse than that it was Mike's sister! When I was editing I remember finding a duplicate (one under madien name, one married) and I most have deleted the household. Oops! Once everyone was accounted for and the list was orginized I tackled trying to get missing addresses.

I love typing in the address and getting my little green check marks. Martha's guest list program only gives you a check mark for complete addresses as I discovered when I left a number off of a zip code. So far if I divide the number of guests by missing addresses I still have a B. At this moment there are 6 missing addresses. I have emailed all of them a request for the info and am hoping everyone will check their email after the holiday.

Bridenity, As It Were

I am a Disney princess, ballerina fairy. I am also, incredibly decisive and open about my opinions. I want to be girly without being fussy on my day. I want my day to be themed from start to finish. It has to be memorable and surprising. Not in a Hunted House sense, but in a "that's so Katie!" way.

Knowing what I want means that I want to make sure that I get it. I need to oversee and foresee all that will come to pass, until the day of when I will happily hand over control to my day of coordinator. I will have made a million lists, sent hundreds of emails and planned for every contingency. That is how I function. I love planning an event and I hate working my own party away.

Being hands on and crafty works well with wedding planning. I am obsessively asking 1)Is this worth my time and energy? 2)Do we need this? 3)What will I do with that after the wedding? Hand making 86 folding program fans, for example is a be fat no. We'll be paying someone to do it or changing the format. After the wedding all the guests can fan themselves through the hot, hot summer and think of us.

Save the dates are a MUST I have family and friends who are as good as all over the country. They need a heads up to make plans and save pennies. This is not handmade, it's something a bride posted on the DIY wedding board asking how to duplicate. This is what mine might have looked like if I had a less involved groom. Cute, right?

Fortunitly or not, (depending on the day) I have a groomzilla. He is involved, critical and down right over dramatic about a lot of the details. Sometimes he's initially impassioned and then completely apathetic after the fact. So, when I said I just wanted a simple magnet save the date he had other ideas. Actually, I really did get him going by saying "I want it to be funny. They'll be looking at it for a long time." That got his wheels turning.

First, he wanted a countdown to the wedding with "jokes or something." Then it turned into "something interactive." I objected to the dial that reveals information format because it would be to time consuming to assemble and awkward to mail. We pressed on a decided to do magnetic poetry style. I picture a grid of magnets that broke apart with Shakespeare quotes and one piece that didn't break apart with our info. Simple right?

Not good enough for Mike. He doesn't really do simple. He changed the design so that there's a background image surrounded by a frame with the info on it and the magnetic Shakespeare quotes are arranged on top. That way you'll have a pretty framed image after you pull off the words and write poems on your fridge.
Here's your preview, this is the image we picked before we edited out the weird face in the tree.

When the design was finished this afternoon I breathed a long sigh of relief at how well it had come to fruition thus far. We discussed uploading it to a site to print for us before we(ehm, Mike) got all fancy, but now we have to hand assemble these puppies. On the bright side I talked Mike into investing in a Pazzle(cricut-esque cutter, but fancier). Hurray! It's going to be a life saver during this process and far, far beyond.

I promise that as soon as they are assembled and sent I will post all the details, but for now let's just say all those receiving them will be pleased. Speaking of those receiving save the dates I've added impending babies and new wives to the guest list and sent out pleas for addresses today. Have a Happy 4th of July weekend and then respond, folks (or I will stalk you.)

Photography

This is a huge decision for me. I have a lot of wonderful photographers in my life, but I also have a no working guests policy. I keep adding names to the list instead of subtracting them. There are so many wonderful gifted photographers out there and I deserve to have one of them. The only things I will get to keep after the wedding will be the ring and the photos.

My new planner suggests interviewing no more than five of each vendor. I'm so decisive I'd been laughing at that advice, but this is the list where narrowing it down to five was really hard. I knew my budget and that I wanted a modern/photo journalistic approach. I also knew that I don't care about an album or prints (so long as I have some time to order them afterward). The trouble is, as with any creative professional there is no standardization in how they price their services. Some charge by the hour, some do a flat rate, some have packages and some have everything a la cart. Some limit the number of proofs and prints and some give you everything. I knew I wanted as many hours as possible and a DVD of all images.

That being said it's hard to compare prices because one is more than the other but gives more hours and includes a DVD or not..., etc. There was one or two I really liked and sadly erased from the list because regardless of what they were offering they were too expensive. It's much harder to compare the ones that are close in price. Like I said none of them charge the same way.

I narrowed it down to two front runners and two alternatives. I sent the gallery links to the bridesmaids and my mom for feedback. I read all the lists of "questions to ask" in regards to the photographer. I emailed the two who didn't share pricing information on their sites. I heard back from one which puts her leagues ahead of the competition I love quick responses. Also, I love her photos. Now I'm taking Mike's advise and writing out the minimum and maximum I would take or want from each to get a price range for each of them.

Not everything in wedding planning is magical. I didn't find "the one" when I picked the dress. I got resourceful and made it what I wanted. Very effective with fabric not so much with vendors...I want to choose wisely. Not solely on talent or likability, but some combination of the two.